| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
Dads - What Family Legacy Are You Passing On to Your Children?
Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship with your child? To begin, you can learn from your own father: Whether you consider him to have been a good father or not, you can use your experience to become a better parent to YOUR children. Patterns of behavior are often passed on unconsciously from one generation to the next. By becoming aware of those patterns in your family, you can make a conscious decision about which ones to pass on to YOUR children. Ask yourself: what did your father do that strengthened your feeling of connection with him and made you feel loved and safe and appreciated? Take a few minutes and think about those things. (Even if there weren't many, at least acknowledge what he did right.) Write them down, and add to the list as you think of more. Now here is the value of this exercise: By doing those things yourself, you will strengthen the connection with your own child. Did your dad have a way of greeting you that made you feel special? Did he spend time with you? What did you do together? Did he let you help him? Did he teach you how to do the things he did? Think about how you can use those memories to nurture your relationship with your own child? Now here is the tough part - (but your relationship with your child is worth looking at this): What did your father do that pushed you away or made you feel shut out or inadequate or unloved. I am not trying to open old wounds or cause you discomfort. I am hoping to help you avoid passing on those mistakes. Make a list of those things as well. Was it the way he spoke to you? Was it that he was sometimes in a bad mood and that mood filled the whole house? Did he discipline in a cruel way that made you feel fear or resentment? No matter what your father did, you have the choice to follow the same pattern or to raise your children in a better way. Look at your list. Now think about what you can do to avoid making the same mistakes. How can you speak to your child that will invite her rather than shut her out? How can you create an atmosphere in your home that is welcoming and safe? How can you discipline your child in a way that assures him that he is okay and you still love him? You can learn from your own experience and give your child the things that you needed and did not get from your father. Use your memories - not to be bitter and angry, but to become the best father you can be . You now have the opportunity to create GOOD memories for YOUR child. So how can you be the best father possible? The answer is really simple: Just give your child the best of yourself. Ask yourself - what do I have to share with my child? Well here's a hint: ?your love and your time and your ideas and your unique, funny way of looking at the world and your love - oh did I say that already? ?and your wisdom - yes - you have a lot of wisdom - and your child will help you to tap into it more than you anything else in your life. Oh, and did I say your love? Use your love in everything you do. Every time you talk with your child, do it in a way that is gentle and affirming - in a way that says, "I treasure you." I am not suggesting that you let your child manipulate you or that you give into his every demand. In fact, you do have a responsibility to set limits and provide guidance. But today we are talking about your RELATIONSHIP - how you feel about each other and interact with each other. You can create a relationship that is loving and safe and peaceful. Isn't that the kind of family legacy you would like to pass on to your children and grandchildren? Pat and Larry Downing have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child." For a free e-book, "How to Get the Best from Your Children," and for more information on how to create harmonious relationships with your children, you may go to: http://www.feelgoodparenting.com © 2005 Patricia Downing PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.
MORE RESOURCES:
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Develop Your Childs Genius: The King of Games - the Game of Kings Many people still think that the game of chess is appropriate for old people. In their mind's eye, they see 2 elderly people sitting across from each other in the park, playing a game of chess. How To Foster An Environment For Successful Communications With Your Child As parents, we strive to address all of the questions asked by our children. If we don't have the answer, or don't like the question, we would never think of ignoring the child. Grandparents! Help Your Grandkids Do Math! This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances in education, many kids still struggle in the math class. Power Foods for a Powerful School Lunch There isn't a school day that goes by that I worry about my son's lunch. Of course, I ask myself the usual questions: Is he eating what he has in the bag? Will he trade his apple for a cookie? Will the school lunch he's ordering once a week be nutritious? He's a kid! He's not a fussy eater, but there are plenty of days that he has come home with a bag full of food. Intro to Medications for ADD ADHD The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are stimulant medications. Anti-depressant medications, and even anti-convulsant medications, are sometimes used as well, though this is less common. Child Education The initial state of happiness about an own child is often overcome with annoyance after even a short period of time. Children quickly grow an own personality, and it's the most vital task of the parents to help develop it and give it a shape. Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue Q. How do we decide what our teens should be able to do? How do they earn trust and responsibility?A. How To Live With Your Teenagers Untidy Room 'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're no doubt familiar with the warcry of independence:'It's my room and I should be allowed to do as I please.'You hear the aggrieved voice, but for the life of you, you can't see beyondthe unmade bedthe piles of discarded clothingthe litter of booksmagazinesscattered CD coverspizza boxesand soft drinks cans. Will My Child Ever Out-grow His Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? If your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder then at some point you will be asking the question, "Will my child ever outgrow it?" Well, there is good news, and not so good news, when it comes to the answer. Studies indicate that about half of those with ADHD will outgrow many of the symptoms of the disorder by the time he or she is in their 20's. The Disadvantages of Home Schooling "Home Schooling - Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home schooling your children? While you may have focused on the advantages of this form of education, take a moment to think about possible disadvantages of home schooling. Consider the demands of home schooling before you take the plunge. The Effects of Televised Sexual Content on Adolescents According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation, "Adolescents who watch large amounts of television containing sexual content are twice as likely to begin engaging in sexual intercourse in the following year as their peers who watch little such TV." In addition, the National Institutes of Health-funded study found that these children's sexual behavior was akin to those adolescents who were 9 to 17 months older, but who watched only average amounts of TV with sexual content. What Do You Do When Your Child is Smarter than You? We adopted our first child when he was three months old. When we went to the agency to get him, he promptly stood up on my wife's lap and looked out the window. Top Ten Reasons to Hold Family Meetings 1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a closer family. How NOT to Motivate Your Children and Students Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped to bring about a near revolution in the way teachers interact with their young charges. He later practiced as a psychologist. Parenting: 6 Observations on Fatherhood Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I old enough to call you Dad?"Won't be long now before he is asking for the car keys.. Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Children How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and adolescents?Adolescents are in a period of seeking autonomy and self-determination. These qualities can aid them in becoming agents of active transformation in their own lives. The POWER of Your Words Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes a part of us, our history, and our legacy. Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques out there. Many of them are widely used and treated as the gospel. Develop Your Childs Critical Thinking Skills 1. Encourage Questions. How To Develop Your Babys Brain Have you ever wondered why toys for babies tend to have so many bells, whistles and lights? Or why they have so many different textures, and materials and colors? It's almost as if we want to provide young babies with a whole world of stimulation and we can't quite get it to them fast enough.Play gyms or activity gyms as they are sometimes called tend to be a firm favorite with babies from newborn up to about 12 months.
|
Catalogue 4 Shopping UK offers thousands of low priced, top brand products in a variety of categories including fashion clothing, sportswear, DIY, electrical for home and garden. Remember it is often cheaper to shop via catalogue4shopping.co.uk than going direct, so bookmark us now (Ctrl +d) Enjoy your shopping. |
.jpg)