| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
Parenting Your Teenager: Ask Questions
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused about what they have a right to know about their teens. The question I often get goes something like this: "We want to know where our 16-year-old son is going to be, and who he is with. He makes it sound as if we are the most out-of-it parents, and that it is abusively embarrassing to him that we want to know what he and his friends are doing. Are we being fair?" You have the right, need and obligation to know all these things, and more. I believe that every parent of a teen has the right to know and the crucial need to know several pieces of information that I call the W's. These crucial W's are: 1) Who they are spending time with. One of the most powerful forces in the life of a teen is influence: of parents, media, culture and especially friends. With friends, it's not the question of can your children be influenced, but how they will be influenced. We have come to use the cliche of peer pressure, but this is really about influence. One of the clearest warning signs of problems is when a teen has two sets of friends _ one that the parents know, and one the parents have never seen and your kid does not want you to see. Your teen does not want you to see them for a reason, and it's not a good one. A good rule of thumb is that your teen is not allowed to go anywhere with someone you have not at least met. Another simple but little-used strategy is to know the parents of your teen's friends. Also, if you can make your home the hub of his or her circle of friends, where lots of activity takes place or at least begins, you have a good thing going. 2) What they are going to be doing. "But Mom, (stretched into a two or three syllable word) we don't know what we are going to be doing!" Possible answers _ "Well, you'll need to know the answer, and then I'll need to know the answer before you can go" or "That's fine for now, when you decide you must let me know." Another one you will hear is "But everyone else gets to do it!" This is one the Top 10 things never to believe. It's just not true. Everyone else does not get to do it. And even if they did, you as a parent still have the right to say no. 3) Where they are going. The what and the where go together, and the same rules apply. Watch out for the scam where Billy tells his parents that he is going to Bobby's house, and Bobby tells his parents he is going to Billy's house. This one can be easily handled and checked on when you know the parents of your teen's friends. 4) When will they be back. This brings up the pleasant issue of curfew. The dilemma: Parents want kids home at a certain time, kids want to stay out later. I've never encountered the situation where a kid wanted his curfew to be earlier. Solution: The parents pick a curfew time. Notice I said the parents and not the parents and kids. This one begins with the parents, and then it's up to the kids to earn more. While we are at it, let's define late. Late is late, and 10 p.m. is 10 p.m., unless there is something major that is unavoidable. If you consistently make 10:10 acceptable and not late, you send the message that the rules don't really count, and you foster more and more lateness, not to mention giving up your power as a parent. If the curfew is kept for three months, an additional 15 minutes is added. If they are late during the three months, the three-month earning period starts over from that point. This model represents the real world where privileges are not just given but earned based on performance. I've seen more than one family make this a very smooth process by requiring that a small form be filled out, answering all the W's before a request to go out is even considered. Now, a word of warning: Your teens will not like this. That's OK because that is not the point. The point is to teach responsibility and other things about the real world, and make this labor-intensive job of parenting a teen just a little less stressful. While requiring your teens to obey the W's may not be easy, it sure can help you to avoid some other loathsome W's, such as: Waiting up until the Wee hours of the morning, Wondering and Worrying. Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager, from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.
MORE RESOURCES:
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Spelling Games The following spelling games can be used by parents to reinforce spelling in children:SPELLING GAME 1: USE BOARD GAMES, SUCH AS MONOPOLYPlay any game that is normally played with dice with the child -- Monopoly, for example. The parent can continue to move her token forward in the normal way by throwing the dice, but the child must orally spell a word to move forward. What Might Surprise You About Childhood Obesity The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is the term nutritionists use to describe the intended balance between calories consumed and calories burned. Children - Blessing or Curse You're trying to catch up on some sleep on a quiet Saturday morning when you hear the shrill scream of a child, who seems upset with the fact that another child is pointing at him or her, and has done so for the past three minutes. You turn over and hope that they will resolve it without your intervention?but that's unlikely, given their past. Is it Attention Deficit Disorder or is it Tourettes Syndrome? During the assessment process it is of great importance for the physician or clinician to consider other possible causes of inattention, impulsivity, or hyperactivity in your child (or teen, or yourself). In fact, this is probably the most important element of a good assessment. Lets Pretend Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend play. With so many passive activities like watching TV and playing video games, we sometimes need to encourage our children to pretend play. Should The Dad-To-Be Attend The Birth? Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and down outside the labor room and would be admitted only after the birth. Modern practice is to assume the dad-to-be should be at the birth to offer support. Kids, Chores & More Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is easier to take the garbage out yourself than to keep nagging your son? Do you wonder what kind of employee he will become since he doesn't always follow through at home? Is it worth the effort on your part to insist that he do his share? The answer is a resounding Yes!The lessons of life and self that we want our children to learn in our homes are not only the practical ones, such as making a bed, sewing on a button or cooking a meal. They include intangible benefits as well; it is equally important for children to learn the art of cooperation, the satisfaction of finishing a job, the ease in following a schedule and the value of sticking with a task. How to Deal with Your Child's Inappropriate Behaviour Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted if their behaviour is mostly positive. Detox To Help Conception Detox To Conceive.. Understanding Why Your Child Has Been Recommended for Testing You have just received a call from your child's teacher explaining that she has noticed your child having difficulty in school. Your child is not understanding math or reading the way the other children do. Understanding The Report "No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report about the testing results. How to Stop Divorce Parental Conflict from Bursting? It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after divorce the culprit of most psychological-adjustment problems the children are having. So, how to stop the post-divorce parental conflict from bursting must be given a premium importance by parents who want to have a healthy, happy and successful divorced children. Is it ADHD or Bi-Polar Disorder? Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings, sometimes extreme, ranging from depressed to normal moods, or from depressed to manic episodes. Manic behaviors are often very similar to "hyperactive" behaviors, including motor restlessness, irritability, temper outbursts, sleeping less, or having higher levels of energy. Thriving As A Family When You Live In The Fast lane It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change is now an entrenched way of life. Clean Kid Syndrome - Does Your Child Suffer from it? The learning and development of Australian kids is under threat because they're not playing outdoors, engaging in constructive, creative play.A nationwide Newspoll survey revealed that the average kid is spending at most, just 10 percent of their free time playing outdoors at home. Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating! 'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a cat, for God's sake!'I'll never forget the wracking sobs of the girl sitting before me, and the disbelief on the face of the mother who uttered these words.I was a Guidance Counsellor in a city high school, and the girl's performance had slumped in recent weeks. When Your Childs Adoption Story Changes: Nothing But the Facts or is It Nothing are the Facts? Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know why your birth family couldn't care for you.""Katie, adopted from China, cherishes an item from a birth parent: a red note that was enclosed with her blanket. ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, part three Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read the article What You Should Know About Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward W. after having it handed to me by a member of our church. How Do You Find the Best Car Seat to Protect Your Child Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is a prime consideration for any new parent. To give your child the best chance of escaping injury in the event of a collision, you'll need to a car seat suited to your child's age and weight. Parenting Your Teenager: Kids and Money Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage the money they will be making. Even if their parents have attempted to teach them about money, they still haven't had the wonderfully frightening experience we have all had.
|
Catalogue 4 Shopping UK offers thousands of low priced, top brand products in a variety of categories including fashion clothing, sportswear, DIY, electrical for home and garden. Remember it is often cheaper to shop via catalogue4shopping.co.uk than going direct, so bookmark us now (Ctrl +d) Enjoy your shopping. |
.jpg)