Parenting Information

Parenting Your Teenager: Of Course You Can Search Your Teens Room


Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we wonder whether he's doing more stuff. We have reason to believe he has been hiding drugs in his room, and we're wondering whether we should go into his room to see whether we can find anything. Some parents we've talked to say yes. Others say, "Don't invade his privacy because you will lose his trust." What do you think we should do?

A. Based on more than 25 years of working with teen-agers and families, I suggest:

Absolutely, yes, go check out his room.

I say this for at least three reasons:

1) It's your house.

You bought it. You pay the mortgage. You can go anywhere in the house you wish to go.

End of story.

2) You have reason to believe that there is something dangerous in your son's room.

If you knew there was a poisonous snake or a ticking bomb in his room, would you want to go in and get it out?

Of course.

You have reason to believe there is something both poisonous and explosive in his room.

Find out and get it out.

3) While you are correct to believe that trust is a crucial issue here, the trust between you already has been broken.

Your son broke it when he began to smoke pot and keep it from you. And in my experience, there is usually more that you do not know behind what you have already discovered.

Your first job is to get him safe, and then you can work on rebuilding the trust.

You can look through his room and then deal with him about whatever you find. Another way to look through his room is to do it with him, and then you get to deal with whatever you find as you find it.

Either way, he certainly won't like it much, but that is not the issue.

Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager, from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring .


MORE RESOURCES:

Learning Parenting 101: Better Late Than Never
Hartford Courant, United States - Dec 1, 2008
Welcome to Parenting 101, a two-part introduction to the fundamentals of effective child-rearing. Upon passing this course, which will conclude with next ...


Obama victory encourages parenting advice
Great Dad, California - 7 minutes ago
And yet he's still an excellent parent who finds time for his daughters," he told the news provider. In a speech in Chicago this past Father's Day, ...


Media exposure a challenge for parenting skills
Great Dad, California - 7 minutes ago
It's possibly one of the thorniest challenges facing modern fathers looking for the best parenting advice - how to ensure your child manages to enjoy and ...


Dr. William Sears to Talk on Child Nutrition & Parenting
Honolulu Advertiser, HI - 8 hours ago
Parents, grandparents and childcare providers are invited to attend his seminars on Monday, December 8th at 7pm or Tuesday, December 9th at 10am at the New ...


Even In Hard Economic Times, Noted Parenting Expert Urges Couples ...
PR Web (press release), WA - 10 hours ago
"Couples who decide to delay marriage and child-bearing, don't fully comprehend the ramifications of their actions," according to parenting expert and ...


ENERGYPARENTING(R) is the Antidote to the ADHD/Ritalin Epidemic
MarketWatch - 12 hours ago
It is a new way to parent that upends existing parenting models by transforming challenging children without the need for medication. ...


The Canadian Press

Culinary bad boy Anthony Bourdain dishes on parenting and food
The Canadian Press, MIAMI BEACH - 16 hours ago
MIAMI BEACH — After spending years introducing television viewers to unusual eats from around the globe, culinary bad boy Anthony Bourdain is focused on a ...


Synopses cut to meat of parenting books
Arkansas Online (subscription), AR - 7 minutes ago
BY HEIDI STEVENS CHICAGO TRIBUNE Next time you’re invited to a baby shower, may we suggest a gift idea that few mothers think to register for: a boatload of ...


Examiner.com

(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting)
Examiner.com - 19 hours ago
by Tim Wright, Houston Workforce Performance Examiner Change is not just something leaves do. Change occurs in our efforts to improve profitability, ...


Gay adoption ruling favors good parenting over sexual orientation
Sun-Sentinel.com, FL - Dec 2, 2008
As a parent myself, all I can do (and it is not enough) is commend Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman for a fair and just ruling, which put the welfare ...
New blow to adoption ban Palm Beach Post
all 5 news articles

Parenting - Google News

Catalogue 4 Shopping UK offers thousands of low priced, top brand products in a variety of categories including fashion clothing, sportswear, DIY, electrical for home and garden. Remember it is often cheaper to shop via catalogue4shopping.co.uk than going direct, so bookmark us now (Ctrl +d) Enjoy your shopping.

Additions Direct Catalogue Home Cloggs Direct Cosmetics
Jones Bootmaker Dress For Less Figleaves JD Sports
Lands End Lingerie Confidential Littlewoods Catalogue Marks And Spencer
Mothercare Catalogue My Tights Outdoor Gear Simply Beach
Thomas Pink Top Brands Direct Marshall Ward