| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
Surviving as a Single Parent
Emotional Overload Many single parents say they deal with a variety of emotional issues that you might describe as "extra baggage." Some examples include: ? Self-pity ? Depression ? Guilt ? Anger ? Envy ? Fear ? Severe money problems ? Loneliness and isolation ? Frustration ? Exhaustion These issues present such a challenge because they undermine your daily functioning and emotional well-being. But they can be managed successfully so that you manage your family in a positive way. 10 Ways to Speed Your Recovery Process Becoming divorced or widowed and then facing years of single parenting is a shock to anyone who experiences it. You will need to take steps to recover and heal. Here are some suggestions: 1. Some churches, synagogues, counseling centers, and therapists offer free and low-cost divorce recovery workshops and grief support groups. Look for them in the newspaper and Yellow Pages. If you don't see any listed, call a few places that may be able to refer you. 2. Look for local peer support groups and networks. 3. If you have access to the Internet, search for support services in your area. 4. Also on the Internet, look for chat rooms or bulletin boards where single parents post messages and share ideas. 5. Find library books for kids about divorce and single-parent families, and read them together. Take the time to talk about how they relate to your situation and encourage your kids to talk about their feelings. 6. Find a support group for children of divorce. 7. Tell your children's teachers and the school psychologist that you are a single-parent family. Let them know that you welcome feedback and suggestions on coping with your circumstances. 8. When you are ready, investigate groups like Parents Without Partners for single adults. You need to be with other adults who have similar interests. 9. Learn to help your kids talk about what is happening to them. 10. Learn conflict resolution and problem-solving skills. Single-Parent Survival Strategies In addition to recovering from the loss of a partner, you will need to take action to survive and thrive in the coming years. The following strategies provide a starting place. 1. Watch out for too many changes in your life as you recover from both the loss of your spouse and the resulting changes in your life circumstances. Change causes stress, and you have enough right now. 2. Realize and accept that you must get help with your single-parenting responsibilities. It is unrealistic to think that you can do it alone. 3. Manage your own emotions so you will be able to help your child manage his or her struggle. Learn as much as you can about how children respond to divorce, the death of a parent, or life in a single-parent home. Do not expect your child to respond the same way you do. Take your child's developmental stage into consideration when responding to his or her behavior. 4. Give your children permission to talk to you about their feelings. 5. Keep appropriate boundaries. ? Don't give in to the temptation to let your child take care of you. ? Let your children be children. ? Avoid burdening them with your feelings and the facts of the divorce or death of your spouse. ? Find another adult to be your sounding board. 6. Let people help you. ? If it is impossible to reciprocate, say so. ? People know that your life isn't like it used to be. ? Don't let your inability to reciprocate prevent you from accepting what people willingly offer. 7. Let go of your need for perfection. You will have much more stress if you don't lower your expectations. 8. Even though you are unable to be present as much as in the past, your children still need adult supervision. Look for ways for other adults to look in on your kids when they are home alone, even when they are teenagers. 9. Just because your child appears to be handling his or her emotions well, don't assume that he or she is okay. Some kids respond to parent loss by becoming overly responsible or by closing down their emotions. They may need to hear, "Tell me how you're feeling." 10. While it is important to listen and accept your children's feelings, it is equally important to set limits on behavior. 11. Cultivate your ability to be flexible and find creative ways to solve problems. 12. Learn to set priorities. Do the most important things first. 13. Trust your gut feelings. Pay attention to your instincts and act on them. 14. Simplify as many things as possible in your life. You cannot afford to keep it complicated. 15. Find an outlet for your anger. If a friend is not available, look for a minister, rabbi, or professional counselor. If money is an issue, look for a therapist who will see you for a low fee. 16. Teach yourself to let go of guilt. You don't have time for it, and it's not necessary. 17. Focus on issues you have control over. If something is beyond your control, don't waste your emotions on it. 18. Create a ritual to mark the change in your circumstances. This could be a funeral for your spouse or a ceremony to acknowledge your divorce. 19. Keep a private journal in which you express your feelings. Be sure to keep it in a private place where your children won't find it. A journal provides a place to express anger, sadness, loneliness, and fear-all of those feelings you feel every day as a single parent. 20. Remind yourself that recovering from divorce or the death of a spouse will take time. Your recovery will happen on its own schedule, and it will happen. You will get through this intact. 21. Learn to be assertive. You can't say yes to every request, whether it is from your family members or people in the community who want your time and resources. If you give it all away, you will have nothing left for yourself. 22. Find ways to take care of your body. Get regular checkups and make time to exercise. You need rest now more than ever. Watch your alcohol intake. 23. Find someone who will listen to you. Sometimes you have to ask, for example, "I need a sounding board right now. Can I have 15 minutes of your time?" 24. Rent a sad movie and let yourself cry (when the kids aren't around). Crying allows you to release the sadness that you are sure to feel. 25. Do at least one fun thing for yourself every week. 26. In your private journal, make a list of all the things you're afraid of. 27. In your private journal, make a list of all the things you worry about. 28. Get together with other single-parent families. Sharing times with people facing similar issues can make you feel normal. Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.
MORE RESOURCES:
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Summer Marks the Time to Remember Active Supervision Around Family Swimming Pools LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend, and summer fast approaching, EMS, first responders, and water safety advocates, are bracing for the unthinkable - the unfortunate drowning accidents in backyard swimming pools that annually claim the lives of nearly 500 children under the age of five, and an estimated 2,800 "near-drowning" incidents.1The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reports, for every child who drowns, six more children are involved in "near-drowning" incidents - accidents that can lead to permanent neurological damage, life-long disabilities, and leaving the parents with catastrophic medical costs and years of recovery and therapy. How Children Learn Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do for a child is provide a nurturing environment. By doing this, we influence children's brain development and their ability to learn. The Ten Things That Successful Parents Do 1. They are leaders as well as parents. Dinner Table Drama It has been a long day. Home from work, you put together a nice, healthy dinner for the entire family to enjoy. Top 5 Characteristics of Good Leadership to Instill in Our Home School Children I am sure that this list can be jogged and added and taken away or all of the above, after being in the presence of several true leaders these are the ones that stuck out in my mind. Our home schooled children can be given a greater chance to make a diference in the world if the are leaders in mind, instead of following others blindly. How Can I Teach My Child Respect? A common theme over the past 20 years has been how much children have changed from when we were growing up in terms of how they show respect. I know that for the most part in the 1960's, anyone in a position of authority commanded respect which included parents, teachers, police officers, principals, bosses, coaches and anyone else we viewed in some way as a person in authority. Vehicle Safety - Following Simple Vehicle Safety Tips Can Reduce Auto Accidents and Injuries Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but so many people do not follow these simple car seat safety principles. By following these easy steps you can ensure your child is completely safe in your car. Parents and Children Working Together When parents help their children learn to read, they help open the door to a new world. As a parent, you can begin an endless learning chain: You read to your children, they develop a love of stories and poems, they want to read on their own, they practice reading, and finally they read for their own information or pleasure. Teenagers and Stress: What Parents Can Do to Help More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how to support their teenagers who are complaining about the stress in their lives.What parents may not realize, is that what they do every day by providing healthy food, support, and a comforting home, provides the very stress-antidotes their teens need. The Classic ADHD Child Reminds Me of Tigger ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What has become known as "classic ADHD" is characterized by Inattention, Impulsivity, Hyperactivity, Restlessness, and Disorganization. Baby Name Meanings Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is like God"), I'm really proud of my name. And I think that I - mostly - live up to the title! Of course, my mother would probably disagree; I think the phrase "little devil" would probably pass her lips if she was describing me during many stages of my childhood. Just Average What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good enough?That's what came out in Joshua's report card recently. Looking back, I wasn't too bright a child either. Internet Dangers - Protecting Children from Internet Jeopardy Parents are in a unique position to "monitor" their children's internet activities and to observe their behavior with respect to any actions generated by the child's internet use. If children are hiding something from a parent, usually an astute parent will sense that something is askew. Co-Morbidity Rates: Other Problems That May Come With ADHD Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge. Very often the child or teen that comes to the office will have both a neurologically based Attention Deficit Disorder, as well as some other clinical condition that requires treatment. Why Consistency Is The Key To Raising Well-behaved Kids Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make you feel dreadful. However consistency is one of the most important elements in the relationship with your children, but it is the one most frequently overlooked. Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means Because most teens have not had the experience of getting to the end of the money before the end of the month, the words, ``I can't afford it,'' have little or no meaning.Here's what can happen in lots of homes:``Mom, can I get a new (fill in the blank)?''``No, honey, I'm sorry, but we can't afford it. Humans and Their Innate Need for Drug Stimulation We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like across the globe used such mind-altering drugs to alter their states. Still today in the world we have whole cultures enslaved to drugs of some type. We All Wish That Our Children Have Good Virtues, But... Are We Setting A Good Example Ourselves? We all wish that our children should not smoke or drink, should not speak lies, should not steal, should not have a violent nature, etc.. ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Childs Best Friend Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If so-- my hat is off to you! ADD / ADHD children are brilliant, full of energy, smart as a whip (as grandma says), and tons of work. They are also the rising sun and the setting star: meaning much of life revolves around them in one way or another. Medications: Addressing Parental Fears and Concerns Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to follow her pediatrician's recommendation of placing her young son on medication. His difficult behaviors had escalated in recent years and after trying behavioral strategies and food elimination diets, there simply hadn't been much progress in his maintaining himself.
|
Catalogue 4 Shopping UK offers thousands of low priced, top brand products in a variety of categories including fashion clothing, sportswear, DIY, electrical for home and garden. Remember it is often cheaper to shop via catalogue4shopping.co.uk than going direct, so bookmark us now (Ctrl +d) Enjoy your shopping. |
.jpg)
