Parenting Information

10 Steps To Prepare You For Life With Children


It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that a child will bring to your life - nothing is quite the same again. If you are an expectant father (or even mother) or just considering the prospect of parenthood, do the following 10-step program so you can learn what you're in for.

1. Go to the nearest doctor's surgery, pharmacy, clothes store, shoe store or sports store and empty your wallet onto the counter. This will be a regular occurrence well into the next millennium. The method of transaction may change but the continuous action of handing over your money will not.

2. Set your alarm for midnight, then every hour after that. Get up and walk to the furthest bedroom because that is what you will do at some stage, either to feed a baby or return a night-stalker to his room. Let your workmates see you with sleep deprivation - they will get used to it.

3. Put on your best clothes, mash a banana with custard and pour the contents over yourself. Smear it in. This will help your prepare for feeding time with a toddler. Don't bother smearing food over your old or worn-out clothes because kids won't spill anything on them. They know when you're wearing your best oufit before they strike.

4. Arrange a simple outing. Perhaps to have a quick drink with a friend. Give yourself two hours to prepare. Make sure you dress yourself in five minutes so you can spend the rest of the time packing the car. Make sure you pack food. Go out to the car and come back. Repeat this process again and again. Then drive round the block and return. You need to get used to forgetting some object such a child's favourite blanket or teddy.

5. Grab a book, sit down and open it. Make sure you get to an absorbing or exciting part, then get up to do part of a jigsaw puzzle, or turn on the tap for a child who wants a drink, or put together a 1000-piece Lego pirate ship. Return to your book but don't read any further. Go into the kitchen and chop up an orange or an apple for snack food. Go back to your book but don't read any further. Get up and yell something about not fighting because you're trying to relax.

6. Stand in front of the mirror and verbally abuse yourself. Tell yourself that you are silly, that you are unfair and that you really hate yourself. Your kids will tell you if you won't.

7. Cover your hands with jam and wander through the house, touching as many items of furniture as possible. Rub your hands along the walls. Turn on the TV and push the channel buttons a few times. Step in puddles then come inside and walk over your best chairs.

8. Bring in a load of tools and tip them over the middle of the living room floor. Leave them there all day.

9. Take three untrained puppies shopping with you - but not on a lead. Buy what you need without letting them out of your sight.

10. Put a snake on your lap next time you phone a friend. This is what your child as a two year-old will feel like whenever you make a call. Next time you want to make a call, wait two hours before picking up the phone. This is the average length of a teenager's phone conversation. Get used to it because that is how long you will have to wait to make your own call.

For further information to help you enjoy the parenting journey read Great Ideas for Tired Parents by Michael Grose available at the shop at www.parentingideas.com.au.

Michael Grose is leading parent educator and author of six books.

For great ideas to help you raise happy, confident kids visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au, and subscribe to Happy Kids, Michael's quality email newsletter. Take a free online parenting course and any of Michael's informative articles


MORE RESOURCES:

Learning Parenting 101: Better Late Than Never
Hartford Courant, United States - 21 hours ago
Welcome to Parenting 101, a two-part introduction to the fundamentals of effective child-rearing. Upon passing this course, which will conclude with next ...


Even In Hard Economic Times, Noted Parenting Expert Urges Couples ...
PR Web (press release), WA - 1 hour ago
"Couples who decide to delay marriage and child-bearing, don't fully comprehend the ramifications of their actions," according to parenting expert and ...


ENERGYPARENTING(R) is the Antidote to the ADHD/Ritalin Epidemic
MarketWatch - 2 hours ago
It is a new way to parent that upends existing parenting models by transforming challenging children without the need for medication. ...


Examiner.com

(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting)
Examiner.com - 9 hours ago
by Tim Wright, Houston Workforce Performance Examiner Change is not just something leaves do. Change occurs in our efforts to improve profitability, ...


Anderson court records detail accused killer's commitment to parenting
Anderson Independent Mail, SC - Dec 1, 2008
In 2006, family court officials ordered both parents to submit to drug tests and to comply with court-ordered behaviors, including the exposure of their ...


The Canadian Press

Culinary bad boy Anthony Bourdain dishes on parenting and food
The Canadian Press, MIAMI BEACH - 6 hours ago
MIAMI BEACH — After spending years introducing television viewers to unusual eats from around the globe, culinary bad boy Anthony Bourdain is focused on a ...


Gay adoption ruling favors good parenting over sexual orientation
Sun-Sentinel.com, FL - 14 hours ago
As a parent myself, all I can do (and it is not enough) is commend Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman for a fair and just ruling, which put the welfare ...
New blow to adoption ban Palm Beach Post
all 4 news articles


Parenting class offered at Firelands
Port Clinton News Herald, OH - 9 hours ago
Among the essential information offered to participants, parents will be taught a step-by-step approach to quickly soothe the fussiest baby. ...


(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting)
Examiner.com - 9 hours ago
by Nate Ferguson, Real Estate Headlines Examiner If you’re a first-time home buyer, the fixer-upper route may be a good bet. But if you want to sell your ...


Parenting Tips
Modesto Bee, CA - 5 hours ago
By Tom McMahon Yes, 'tis the season for colds and flu. Almost 22 million school days are lost each year to the common cold alone. With a little effort, ...

Parenting - Google News

Catalogue 4 Shopping UK offers thousands of low priced, top brand products in a variety of categories including fashion clothing, sportswear, DIY, electrical for home and garden. Remember it is often cheaper to shop via catalogue4shopping.co.uk than going direct, so bookmark us now (Ctrl +d) Enjoy your shopping.

Additions Direct Catalogue Home Cloggs Direct Cosmetics
Jones Bootmaker Dress For Less Figleaves JD Sports
Lands End Lingerie Confidential Littlewoods Catalogue Marks And Spencer
Mothercare Catalogue My Tights Outdoor Gear Simply Beach
Thomas Pink Top Brands Direct Marshall Ward